Back on The Blog Game...

I know I havent written in quit sometime.... but better now than never?

Whats been going down... The abridge version:

Austin, Texas:

After playing the 5th year college undergrad I came to realize I would never make it as a professional dog walker.... plus I needed health insurance so I left Austin to start a new chapter in this bible I call life. (Tear).

I had to leave this...

and this...

oh and worst of all... this.

Believe me- it still burns.

Houston, Texas:

In attempts to find myself, find my passion, find my fire... I decided to take a couple months at home- save some money and perhaps join the circus.

Parents, rain, Taal, the galleria, work, dogs, humidity, mosquitos, crime, darkness, roaches, Oliver, and diet coke- basically sums up my life in Houston.

But then came my 24th birthday-

aww..

a prefect birthday really....

i had my boyfriend...


and best friends...

I dig Houston, dont get me wrong- I love visiting.... however, more than 3 days in the muky, no- zoning, katrina infested marsh land I call home kinda gives me a headache.

So I packed my bags and headed on the only freeway I know how to get to (I-10) and some how I ended up in Los Angeles.

My "Oh my G-d, Im kinda a big deal" life in Cali- To be continued.

(Is it just me or is it TOTALLY strange that I picked up my blog on the same day that I started it.... freak me out- omg.)

Life as a Dog Walker

Im a dog walker. Im proud to say that after a $40,000 education I am a dog walker. You and my parents may be thinking- is this the best way to use a University of Texas degree?? Well, probably not. But the bills are paid and im happy so thats all thats really all that matters...



It all started when I advertised myself as a Pup Nanny- aka a professional dog walker. From that I developed a group of clients and I found myself working a 7-9 job playing with dogs. Amasing. I not only walk slash play with dogs I also housedog sit, feed, and transport... I basically get paid to play in the sunshine all day with cute puppies.

So recently, one of my most demanding clients wanted me to drive his 3 gorgeous dogs up to their summer home in the Berkshires. So in about a week me and Beth got things organized and headed out for a lil road trip.



Austin To Massachusettes:

Mini Van (check), organic dog food (check), 800 thread count egyptian cotton sheets for the dogs to sleep on (check), pills (check), bottled water must be Fiji brand for the dogs to drink (check), a gajillion toys (check), fancy dog treats (check), herbal dog xanex incase the dogs get anxious (check), swarovski crystaled dishes for the dogs to eat their gormet meals (check), and finally the drivers- Beth and Lauren (check) and of course we have:

achum achum-

Gizmo Freed the eldest and most shrined upon, Terrier Mix




Mazzie the middle child and often not given the most attention but the most amazing dog EVER, Portugese Waterdog



and

Zooey the baby, the i always need attention ME ME ME but so effing cute, Wire-Haired Pointing Griffon



So off we go...

Beth and I effing ROCKED OUT on this road trip. For the first two days we didnt even need any music because well we entertain eachother like whoa. Sure we had a few snippets here and there but nothing that a 5 minute silent treatment couldnt fix. We had a ridiculous amazing time on this trip. We drove for six days at a leisure pace, found fun parks to play at with the dogs, stoped every 2 hours, ate like every 3 hours, napped every 4 hours, and just well laughed every minute in between.



The Iteneary went as followed:

We started out in Austin- hit up the Houston saw the fam....

Next to Baton Rouge where we got a dump of a hotel but got to see a good friend Aubrey Bailey and her cute boyfriend.







Then a fun day on the road... Beth got pulled over in Louisianna by a DEA officer with a drug dog in his car which could have frightened most people but Beth seemed to flirt her way out of the ticket... it could have helped that Zooey the 100 lb dog was sitting in my lap at the time but I still give Beth 100% credit for getting a out of speeding 20 mi/hr over the legal lemit. Ay mira moviestar!

Finally around 8:00 that eve after the dogs were fed and read their bedtime story Beth and I got to eat at PF Changs with one of Beths good friend in Bermingham, Alabama. Good good times. It was getting late and about 2 hours down the road was ATL so we trucked it out there and stayed at a freinds house. Sometimes its nicer to stay at a home than at a crusty hotel where you cant seem to escape the raunchy seman quits and filthy tv remotes.








Up early tending to dog poos and meal preperations Beth and I got out of ATL quickly and headed for well I guess the North. We had our first Cracker Barrel experience and may I say mmmm mmmm good followed by a some severe stomach cramping. Beth has some family up in Arlington, VA so we attempted to make it there that day... but that was further than expected and with stops, snacks, and shopping we ended up fatigued and irritable in Christiansberg aka Inbred America. I tipped toed around Christiansberg because well I felt that I was gonna melt or burn there being a Jew and all. I mean along side the highway at about every exit were these giant cross statues about 14 stories high- no joke. Whatever, so we pull over and I go make the hotel arrangements- I ask for the nicest suite they have, swipe the card, and as I wait I take a look at a huge sign to my right that screams ABSOLUTELY NO PETS ALLOWED.... I dont have pets I have three very proper four legged people right? I didnt effing care I wanted a shower. So Beth and I had to sneak the dogs in, sedate them with treats, and finally relax- oh by the way theres this huge sleezy jacuzi bath tub in the MIDDLE of the room- no curtains nothing just a bath tub in the middle of the room.





Day 3- we flee from Xtianberg and onto civilization. We casually drive and Beth has to constantly has to remind me that we are going NORTH and EAST to Massachusettes.... I have the geography skills of a 4th grader (held back twice). We met up with Beths fam, have a lovely dinner, drink some twine and on the road again--- destination Baltimore. As we roll up in the city in our super fly soccer mom mobile I say without thinking "wow, Baltimore- this place is cute, i would totally live here!" Beth gives some sorta are you retarded stare- then at the stop light we see this INTENSE fight between a guy and a girl... we saw some slaps, some oh no you di'int, someone got out of the car in the middle of the intersection, then swarms of black people crowded around, homeless people hooting it on, and then someone totally random gets in the car and drives off- WTF... i retrack that "Baltimore is Cute" statement. We make is safe in the hotel- a really strange but nice majic hotel. Movies, mini bar binge, showers, and sleep- BOMB free breakfast at the hella fancy Cloud Club (h) and then that was our cue to get the F outta crimeville USA.





We definately could have made it to the owners house that day- but we were under strict rules that the dogs must be driven up at day light, after theyve been fed, between the hours of 10:00 to 12:00- ANAL, i know, but shwatever..... We end up meeting up with Beths mom and her sis and have a lovely dinner in this postcard picture of a town and have some family TLC. With the road trip almost over Beth and I were starting to get anxiety about dropping the dogs off. We've grown to be such a close family us 2 and 3 dogs spooning in a king size bed- uch.... its just not that easy to deliver them.




So we drive down sunny brick road to the dog owners plantation estate and well I dont think the dogs cared as much as the owners thought they would. Infact I think they wanted to stay with us. DOGS i love you!




To top off the trip we stay at Beth's sister Kate's house in somewhere I dont know how to spell Mass. We dine at this knock of TX joint and after WE ALL NEEDED A DRINK. Me and Beth had some severe seperation anxiety and needed a stiff vodka drink to calm the nerves. Luckily, it happened to be kereoke night at this fancy bar and well vodka + madonna = lauren really embarassing herself. 5 solos later I ended up singing a duet with this black man to YOUVE LOST THAT LOVE AND FEELING by the Richeous Brothers- wtf was I thinking.... The bar applauded perhaps because I was finished singing and going home??? I dunno, it was fun- goodtimes Kate!

Moral of the story is- Beth and I got paid to take three amazing dogs up the east coast. An all expense trip paid for and well a ridiculously awesome and well needed vacation.

Some South By

"Hey- This is Lauren Singer with Indie911 here at South by SouthWest in the live music Capital of the World Austin, Tx...."





Ill start from the beginging. So, thanks to Beth and her craigslist obsession I was forwarded a posting to audition for this show thats coming to Austin during SXSW. I really didnt have much information so I sent this guy a sassy coverletter and my resume. He quickly responded and told me to meet him at this bar to do a mock interview on camera as an audition. A couple beers later I rocked the interview and left the bar feeling confident. At this point I really really wanted the gig, I felt like it would be a great opportunity for me to see if A) I like being on camera and B) to seriously network myself. However, seeing how the competetion was fierce I tried not to get my hopes up to high.... But then I got call saying I was goin to be one of the host for the show. I kinda freak out- I mean I really freaked out... I did this lil' dance and screamed right there in the Target parking lot.

So for the past five days I have been living life in what some might call the "fast lane." I was surrounded by sex, drugs, and rock- Sixth street was filled with lights, camera, and some serious action. My job was to interview indie artist, I was supposed to get them to talk about their new albums, musical influences, creative inspirations- basically hold a bullshit conversation for about 10 minutes. I think I hosted about 50 interviews in total, which was like WAY intense. I interviewed some famous guys like Asop Rock and RJD2 but mostly I talked groups that I had no idea existed.



I have to say I worked harder this week than I have in my whole entire life. No all nighter in college or previous job has ever worked me so hard. Besides the whole glamourous rock n roll thing I was running all over downtown, interviewing, calling people, organizing schedules, shmoozing, texting, smiling, greeting, directing, producing, and then of course tryin to look my cutest on camera. Each day I found myself having a cocktail by noon and not stopping until the day was over around 11 PM- 11 hours of drinking = one cranky biatch by the end of it..





Dont get my wrong- I had a BLAST doing this. I got to see some amazing shows like Polyphonic Spree, Via Audio, Kings of Leon, and Julius C. I even shot the shit with rockstars like Wayne from the Flamming Lips, the lead singer guy from Janes Addiction, and achum- KIRSTEN DUNST.



Reporting Live from Hangover City this is Lauren Singer...

I Heart Austin

So lately I have had this hankering for leaving Austin, to you know, explore, see what else is out there. But then I go and have a ridicuously amazing day and I ask myself why would I ever consider leaving this place?



Spring has come and boat season has begun. Me, my girls, and of course the number one stunna Josh PLUS the lake EQUALS omg why is my life so freakin awesome. You get out to the boat and its like you leave your worries and responsibilites on land and have the best day ever. Something about the sun and the unlimited supply of cold beverages makes you feel so amazing. Sometimes I feel like im on an MTV video- the pod jams some seriously good tunes, sun shining, girls dancing in bikinis, wakeboard tricks, hair blowing in the wind, tan lines, digi cameras capturing the moment, laughing, swimming and what not- I really couldnt ask for a better day.









I almost feel guilty when people ask how my day was? cause all I can say is- my day? my has been f-ing AMASING, I went on the boat! However, there is always an end to an ecstacy ride, the moment you get off the boat its like reality slaps you in the face, there actually is a real world out there.



Dont get me wrong, I am completely aware that other cities are great and fabulous and hold a ton of opportunitiees- but will I ever be as happy as I am here somewhere else? To leave Austin for a minute, live somewhere else, then just come right back here- im so confused. It would be silly to stay here for the rest of my life, I would totally regret not living somewhere else for a bit. I guess I do want to get out of Austin- go abroad, Cali, wherever but I do know that I will no doubt end up back here.

For now, in my attempt to figure myself out and where I want to end up, I will continuing playing.





Anything I do I'll be happy, I know this. I wont do anything that makes me cry, makes me stressed or angry- there are too many options that can avoid that. I know one day Ill have to suck it up and get a 9-5 but now at this point in my life I will avoid it like the plague. This is the only time in my life where I can get as many odd jobs as I want. I know I am not making any substantial start to a real career path which scares me a bit, but Im happy, and isnt that really all that matters?



Happy Birthday Pev- it was a weekend that truely wont be forgotten.

Something Other Than Petty Drama

When we were little we thought we were invincible. There were no responisbilities, no worries, no decisions- I mean my mom cut the crust off my sandwhiches until I left for college. Its like we were all rushing to get older and now I would do anything for a MIP. Now that im 23 with a UT degree I feel like more responisbilities have been put on my plate than I can handle- but then I take a look around....

A Planned Parenthood Experience:



Today I went in to the Planned Parenthood to get the vaccine Guardasil- something every lady should invest in. I went to this place for convenience really, I dont have a doctor in Austin and they provide the shot at the same price at any other clinic. When I got to the building which was situated in the middle of the Mexico a panic attack overcame me. I walk in the door and not only was I afraid of shotbut just sitting in the waiting room made me feel like I was going to contract the HIV. While waiting I made friends with a sweet girl and her 2 year old baby- she was a single mother and 15 years old at most, sad. Finally after what felt like 3 years of waiting I got called to the back. The nurse asked me more questions concerning my medical history and I when she couldnt pronounce the word "hypersensitivity" my panic feeling turned hysterical. Is this place really licensed to give medical advice? I was then asked to wait in the closet of an office for the doctor to come see me. I tired to keep my eyes closed and fan myself with a SIDA pamplet but the closed doors made me closterphobic so the nurse came in to give me a paper bag to control me from hyperventalating. Trying my hardest just not to look at the filthy room I glanced down and found a rat trap in the corner, there was peanut butter slabbed on the biggest rat trap I have ever seen. I quickly alerted the nurse that I was not doing ok and WTF was that trap about, but quickly told me to calm down and not to worry cause there was another one right behind me so the rat cant get me. I cried, I cried really hard. Then I started to hallucinate that rats were running around the room- this just made me cry harder. I WANT MY SHOT AND I WANT TO GET THE F OUT OF THIS DELAPETATED SHACK OF A BUILDING- FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. So finally Cynthia the doctor strolls in, the nicest lady really, but with needle at hand I wanted to slap her and run, but I stayed brave. She stuck me, I screamed, I cried and when it was all over I demanded a band aid. She tried to argue that it wasnt necessary but I still demanded the bandaid. So now I am 1 out of 3 shots down to preventing me from the 4 critical strands of HPV, this means that in 6 months (November 2007) I will not contract the 4 strands of HPV that cause cervical cancer- so in the meantime I could still contract this awful disease and the $500 I have invested would be completely wasted. Statistics say that 95% of the American population have some strand of HPV. 8 out of 10 woman have it and give this virus to guys. It not only NOT harmful to the guys, the carriers of this epedemic, but they show no symptoms and they CANNOT BE TESTED. They are clueless that they are infecting girls all over the country. Scary.

Human Papilloma Virus:
There are more than 100 different human papilloma viruses (HPVs). They cause a variety of warts and other conditions and can remain in the system for life. Studies suggest that as many as three- quarters of adults in the U.S. have been infected with at least one type of HPV. About 40 of these HPVs are genital and affect sexual and reproductive organs. A few casue genital warts, but most genital HPV infections are not visible and have no symptoms. Some of these cause cancer of the cervix, vulva, penis, anus, or vagina. Ever year, more than five million Americans are newly infected with genital HPVs- about 20 million woman and men are now infected.

Common Symptoms:
-warts appear on the genital, in the urethra, in the anus, or in the throat
-genital warts are soft to the touch, may look like miniature CAULIFLOWER florets, and often itch
-untreated genital warts can grow to block the openings of the vagina, anus, or throat and become quite uncomfortable

This little lecture IS meant to scare everyone who reads it. I strongly suggest you get this vaccine as soon as you can. Its so imperative for us to take care of our bodies and if three shots can prevent cancer causing warts- be smart about it.

Even after this traumatising experience, I now wish to volunteer at the Planned Parenthood- and after that I want to save the world.

Episode 2

"I love Birthdays"

Birthdays are great- like really great....






BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY BIRTHDAY- a reason for streamers, cake, presents, hats, dinner, smiles, shots, lap dances, friends, naps, attention, fun, loud music, late night, and of course conflict. The birthday party package includes: dinner, badass presents, and of course some serious drinking. There is something about celebrating someone else's existence that really gets the party started. A tonight the main focus was BETH





Birthdays- the day where you can pretty much do anything you wish, its like your get out of jail free card. There needs no thought before the action, no please o thank yous, no one can expect anything from you cause well, its yo brfday. Its a day where your facebook wall overflows with posts, your text messages ding obnoxiously, and your vmail is full of good day wishes.


Why cant everyday be a birthday? I mean what if it was the other way around- like everyday you get to celebrate you, the birth of you- parties, fun, attention and then on your actually birthday you have to go and pray or fast to actually appreciate the day you were born, i mean i could use 364 days of me.... uch that was retarded-



So back to the party. The air was chilly and the mood was zestful, the aura at 1609 was spewing with good times. The only drama goin' down at this house was what song to play from the ipod. Club Prague was on the agenda- it was a new bar and well I dont think it made the top 10. Dont get me wrong, we had a wild time me and a posse of 30 but the scene was TRASH. I think i got groped by 4 men and a lady just on my way to restroom- GROSS, hands off. But the drinks were strong and Fergie was playing so no complaints really.









All n All birthdays are fun...

Epidsode 1, Season 1

"Civil War" - Let the charachters come to life



Birthday, fighting, screaming, name calling, shouting, crying, raging, binge drinking, dancing, laughing, craze of a night. It all started off when dinner plans went awry. Turned out that a group birthday dinner of 15 left me, Josh, Blake, and Carly confused eating Papa Johns on the couch- mmmmm sausage ball and mushroom pizza. The tension was so thick in the house from the birthday present situation to Katie eating a piece of chicken on a specifically markd vegetarian dish- the night just called for some blackout drama. Four vodka shots later I was ready to get my drink on. The pre-party quickly changed from silent and awkard to throwing down a shot everytime Roxanne was mentioned, bad but good idea. In the meantime the pre-party didnt grow much, which left us wondering.... where is everyone? We had our birthday hats on, the playlist rollin, champagne a-flowin' and well our house plus 2 equals- WTF shits about to go DOWN. From my understanding Anat and Steph had plans to go out to dinner and wed DEFINATELY meet up downtown, but then i got wind that Stephanie was having a pre-party of her own, and well lets just say i got to 3 on my "take a breath" count to 10 - was she trying to compete with Netali's brithday o was she truely unaware of the celebratory festivities goin down at 1609? After a bit of discussion turns out that she did recieve the memo from not only me that party fun was gonna happen but she had recieved the message prior via Rima, Katie, and Beth. Strange. That got things heated and well miscommunications and grey goose do not go hand and hand. Anyways- the night must go on.... So we get in the cabs and head to the dance floor at PURE- thanks to Josh my inebriated state of mind turned into a stubbling, balistic mess-



and thats when Stephanie came to say hello. I know I shoulda counted to 10 and tried to just figure it out in the morning but the only words that could come outta my mouth as she greeted me with a smile was "dumb bitch" (totally wrong and extremely betchy of me) and I must have said it to her face 3 or 4 times before she walked away (good call Steph). But after that lil episode I must say the night was you know still out of control- but the rage did simmerd down, a bit. So the musics pumpin and we still got another hour to drink as much as possible and dance like maniacs-










and by this I mean me, Josh, Beth, McKall, and Carly clearing the stage for our antics- DANCE, DANCE, DANCE. Carly, the trooper, Pevreall was rockin out all night with a broken shoe, I mean not broken but one heal of her HIGH heels completely came off-



to be honest I dont even think she realized the extent of the issue but shes a superstar and continued dancing and drinking and even made out with a random boy- I actually think she walked home from downtown- thats like over 3 miles with one broken shoe- crazy limpin' betch. 2:00 rolls around and let the post party begin- music and frosting and dancing... OH MY- i was under Beths covers drunk dialing but I could feel the fun. I must admit it turned out to be a great night- the next mornin tho weak and parched me and Stef did make up. It turned out to be one big misunderstanding and we both blacked out so the words exchanged were faint- which is a great thing. I love my girls, I love my drama.... if I didnt have any this blog would be LAME.